The Speck In Her Eye (Part 7)
I promised my mum I would think about it and get back to her.
When I got back to Lagos, I told my wife I had talked to Mama and had resolved everything; I apologized to her again and assured her that my mum would back off and respect her stand on the issue.
My wife thanked me for protecting and defending her, and then she said there was something on her mind that she wanted to share with me.
“Maybe, we should see a reproductive endocrinologist and have them check what’s happening with us…I have had it on my mind for some days now. It’s as if the Spirit of God is nudging me in that direction”
I was shocked at what she said…
It may be a wrong philosophy but I believe what you don’t know can’t kill you or affect your faith. It’s called the “Ostrich Mentality” but it works for me. I would rather pray to God to heal me/keep me healthy than let a doctor tell me I have an ailment.
How could Funmi suggest this? Knowing what happened to her as a teenager. What if something’s wrong with her internal reproductive organs?
Different thoughts flooded my mind but I didn’t want to tell her these things, I didn’t want her to feel bad.
“Whose report will you believe? Does it matter what the medical experts find or say?
Are we not serving a God that can do exceedingly abundantly…?
A God that gave Sarah a child even when it was biologically improbable.
Doesn’t His word say “Let God be true and every man a liar”?
Doesn’t His word say “Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”? Why then do you need the report of men if we would ultimately go with God’s report?” I asked
Funmi was quiet for a while and I could tell she was trying to make sense of what I said. She later told me we should believe God’s report and trust Him completely.
I had completely forgotten about my last discussion with my mum until I received her call.
“They have found where the problem is o…I told you it’s not difficult for God, if you consult Him via the right channel.
I need to see you as soon as possible…if you can’t come, I will come to Lagos” My mum said, I could tell she was feeling smug about whatever her “discovery” was
“What problem Maami?” I responded
She told me it was about our last discussion and she had gone to see the Prophet.
“But I thought I told you I would get back to you on it” I protested
She said she had taken my “will think about it” as consent and decided to go ahead. She sounded like it was really urgent so I had to promise to come see her. I didn’t want her to come over because my wife was not aware of this new development.
I traveled to Ibadan two days later and was shocked to my core at what I heard.
“Baba said you guys are suffering as a result of something that happened to one of you while growing up…the consequence of a past that’s supposedly buried.”
“What are you covering Niran? What did you do? I have prayed and prayed and prayed…so you are the ‘Prince of Persia’ that’s blocking my answers?”
My mum just went on and on…I’ve known my mum to be highly sentimental but on this day it was on another level. It wasn’t long before she started to cry, the emotional blackmail was “on steroids”.
“Niran, o ti pa mi (Niran, you have killed me), I thought I raised you well, I thought I showed you the way of the lord.
But you chose your own path and now, we are all suffering for your hidden sin…even the poor girl that you married is being haunted by your past”
She would look to the sky and cry unto God
“Jesu, ma wo mi n’iran (Jesus, don’t forsake me), s’aanu mi (Have mercy on me) you are a merciful father, let your mercy rule over whatever judgment Niran has brought on us all”
I tried to calm her down but she was too flustered…she wasn’t even ready to listen to me. I could only imagine what she was cooking in her imagination.
When I could not take it anymore I blurted out “It’s not me Maami, it’s Funmi…”
My mum kept quiet immediately…and I could tell she was dumbfounded. She took her seat and just kept looking at me.
After minutes of silence, she started again
“Niran, so you knew your problem all along but chose to make a fool out of me?
Little wonder you guys didn’t want to go anywhere with me.
You intentionally married someone with defects and handed me a prayer assignment.
You know you are an only child…how could you make such a stupid mistake?
What stupid love would make you jeopardize your future? ”
I had to talk over her to explain what I meant as I could sense she had a totally different interpretation.
“Funmi was never a wayward girl, neither was she promiscuous…she was a victim of life’s cruelty and man’s inhumanity to a fellow human being…” I said, as I explained everything that Funmi went through. I thought my mum would feel sorry for my wife but she just had a blank stare on her face.
“Life dealt her a bad hand…accepted, and I commiserate with her.
God sees my heart, I feel sorry for her but why did you have to be the savior?
Why did you have to be the one to appeal life’s verdict for her…Mr. Agborandun (Advocate)”
“Everyone has issues in life, we all want to be at a place where we can alleviate our troubles not compound them.
Your own issue is that you are an only child with a dead father and an aging mother.
Why couldn’t you find someone whose issue was ‘over-fertility’ and be their savior?” she continued
“Maami, why are you talking like this? Ain’t you supposed to be a Christian?
Were you not the one that taught me to be kind, good and to love others as myself?” I interjected
“What I taught you was to love others as yourself, not more than yourself…even the Bible says that “…the lord commended the unjust steward, because he had DONE WISELY”.
God expects us to use wisdom when making life-shaping decisions.
You met me in this faith, I introduced you to this faith…you cannot bamboozle me with your new age Christian ideologies” My mum responded
It really got out of hands as we traded words back and forth…her arguments sounded selfish and unchristian-like…and she would not agree with whatever I was saying. I decided to take my leave as it was getting late and I didn’t even tell my wife I was travelling.
I thought we would be talking about the way forward or whatever the Prophet she saw, had ’prescribed’ but that didn’t seem to matter to her anymore, the moment she found out I wasn’t the ‘culprit’.
It was a deadlock…my mum was not ready to reason like a Christian. Her somewhat SELF-CENTERED motherly instincts totally clouded her spirituality.
Funmi could tell something was wrong with me when I got home but I told her I was just tired, I didn’t want to share it with her because it could break her.
I decided that night not to even bring Funmi into it at all…I would go back and see my mum, have her take me to the Prophet, follow whatever the prophet said and if there were prayer points, I would just add them to our family prayers and ask Funmi to pray along. The Funmi I know and married, would never question prayers…
© Lanre Olagbaju
Story continues in part 8