The Speck In Her Eye (Part 6)
“Haba! You were the victim in this, why should that deter me? As a matter of fact, this makes me appreciate you even more. That you are still standing after all that happened to you, is a testament of your strength, faith and resilience. You are an example of a divine turn around. What the devil meant for evil, God turned it around and today you can stand tall and tell your story…the story of God’s redemption” I quickly responded
Pastor Jeff turned to me and said “Brother Niran, I know you have prayed about this…but can you go pray some more, in light of this revelation and let me know what you decide?”
I wanted to decline the offer but he insisted…he said he knew why he said so and I should just obey. I felt so much pity for Funmi and something in me wanted to make up for all the hurts that life had thrown her way. I did not even bother to pray about anything…I just wanted to take Funmi straight to my mum, get her blessings and get married.
When Pastor Fred asked if I had prayed and made a decision, I said yes and that God had told me to go ahead.
That was how it became official…Funmi met my mum some weeks after that and it was love at first sight. My mum couldn’t hide her feelings; she hugged me and said she was proud of me…that just like my father, I knew how to find a good woman.
Not long after that, we started to plan the wedding…I couldn’t tell who was happier between Elder Sam and my mum.
We (Funmi and I) went through the counselling program for intending couples at the church, but I was more concerned with giving her the perfect wedding.
She was even mad at me when I missed one of the sessions. It wasn’t really my fault. I had gotten a friend in the US to help buy our wedding rings and he sent it through someone visiting Nigeria. The plan was to meet the person at the airport, collect the rings and head to church but the guy ended up being an old friend from school; so I hung out with him for a while and helped him settle in at his hotel. Funmi said I was taking the counselling with some form of levity.
I told her we had all we needed for a good home: Love for each other and the Spirit of God to guide us, there was no way we could fail. Besides, every marriage is unique and we didn’t really need to follow other people’s definition of it to be successful.
I still remember her response “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety”
I didn’t see what I did wrong but to avoid trouble, I apologized and told her I would buckle up.
Our wedding day was beautiful, it was all I had planned and hoped to give to Funmi…I just wanted her to be very happy and indeed, she was.
It all happened so fast after we got married, things went from good to better and everything I touched turned to gold.
In 3 years, we already built our own house and I had started my own company…lines were falling upon us in pleasant places.
I was able to convince my wife to resign from her banking job and I sent her to Harvard Business School for her MBA. I could afford the tuition; I was also able to visit her at least once every 2 months for the 2-year duration.
She had brought so much joy into my life and I just wanted to equip her for where life was taking us as a family. I kept running into favor everywhere I turned and I knew it had something to do with Funmi’s prayers…Ah! Funmi can pray…she would go on and on for hours. I would hear her mentioning my name and endeavors, committing everything into God’s hands.
We decided not to rush to have kids so we could enjoy each other before adding the responsibilities of parenthood, about 2 years into the marriage we started to try.
Funmi was beginning to get worried but I told her not to stress herself as companionship was the first reason for marriage and we had that. My mum on the other hand would not let us rest…she kept bugging me and at a point she started to talk to my wife about it.
One of my reasons for sending my wife abroad for her Masters was to get my mum off her case…I figured it would be a smart way of diffusing the brewing tension, if my wife was not within reach.
There was a time during one of my visits that we thought “it” had happened but my wife informed me after I got back to Nigeria, that it was false hope. I could tell she was really disappointed but I encouraged her that as soon as she was done with school, and we were back together, everything would work out fine.
My wife returned with her MBA, and got a very juicy offer with a multinational consulting firm. I advised her not to take the offer because I wanted her to take things easy and rest for a while as it would enhance our chances of getting pregnant. After all, it wasn’t as if she needed the money for anything.
Pastor Fred was not one to be afraid of such issues because his own wife waited almost 10 years before they had their first child…he would just encourage us from time to time not to let our faith shake.
“God has never failed…He has done it before, He will do it again. I have seen Him do this time and time again. Bro Niran, rest assured that it will end in celebration. There are children you just have to wait for…check in the Bible; children so great, their parents had to wait for their birth” He told me on our 6th wedding anniversary when they visited us.
I never actually got worried until after the 6th year of our wedding…I tried to hide my worries from my wife because I knew I was the only support she had.
My mum had suggested all sorts of Prayer Mountains and ministries. She even wanted us to undergo “deliverance” and was bringing the heat to my wife.
“Mummy, I am praying, and I will not stop until my joy is full. I have committed this into God’s hands and I know He will answer me. He always does. I believe in taking my case up with God and My kind of Christianity does not subscribe to the ministry of prayer-mediators. I know my God and I know His word” was the statement that caused a rift between my mum and Funmi; when my mum wanted to force her to go see a prophet in Ibadan.
Funmi had visited her, as usual, (my mum didn’t like coming to Lagos, so we did most of the visits) and had taken some groceries and money (monthly allowance) to her but the visit ended in my wife crying all the way back to Lagos.
My mum felt insulted that she could not make my wife change her mind and returned the things brought for her. She said she wanted grandchildren and not “Bournvita” and Milk.
I had to go to Ibadan to talk to my mum…I didn’t like how she treated my wife and she was not picking my calls.
I started by apologizing for whatever my wife did; then made her see what she did wrong. I reminded her that as a child of God, she should always let her words be seasoned with salt.
She “indirectly” said she was sorry (typical Yoruba mother) and started the emotional blackmail all over again. I also told her that we have been praying and we believe God for a miracle
“All those gentle-man prayers that you people do at your church? Is that what you call prayer? You need prayers that have fire in them…prayers that God cannot ignore. It’s not as if I’m offering you concoctions, neither have I advised you to go to the herbalist. I am only suggesting prayers. That was how I raised you, that was the path I showed you…and I can never mislead you. I know places we can go, where they call God and He answers” My mum responded
© Lanre Olagbaju
Story continues in part 7