*THE LESSONS I HAVE LEARNT IN 29 YEARS OF MARRIAGE*
As I celebrate my 29th wedding anniversary, I will be the first to say that marriage is not for the fainthearted. A commitment ‘till death do us part’ is far easier said at the altar that done in everyday struggles of life, ministry, differing personalities and an ingrained desire for each of use to be number one.
We must marry and fight for our marriages
Our purpose:
1. To show the faithfulness of God.
2. To demonstrate that your marriage has hope.
3. To instill hope and blessing upon your marriage.
Your happiness, joy, promotion, peace of mind and underlines of your life will largely be determined by your marriage.
After 29th years with the same woman, I can honestly say that marriage is one of the best ways to grow up, die to self and living as Christ would. In my tenure with kemi, there have been great times, there had been trying times, and there have been daily tests of whether or not I would put myself on the shelf and put another person (my wife) first.
I know some will be happy about their marriage.
I know some will be sad about their marriage today.
I know some will be regretting their marriage today.
1. Staying on a biblical foundation – Gen. 2:18
2. Commitment, determination, self-sacrifice to make things work.
3. Continuous recognition of spiritual fathers.
I hope that you will be encouraged to keep your “till death do us part” commitment, no matter what comes your way, allow me to share with you the 30 things that 28 years of marriage has taught me:
1. It is better to marry the ‘will’ of God than by human sense or counsel. God is the source, strength, support and establishing factor in every marriage, without Him, nothing really works in marriage.
2. It is good to marry early (26 years – male), (23 years – female). It helps in adulthood.
3. Even God’s will in marriage has its challenges, but two people binded together in trust will accomplish miracles. (There is no perfect marriage). Your personal battles as a husband can ruin your marriage (premature death, sicknesses).
4. It is better to start small, study and know each other start adjusting to each other. Living under the same roof helps this.
5. Simple acts of love keep two people knitted together. Walking in trust and not breaking trust is crucial.
6. God must come first, the spouse, then children. God is the only one who can fulfill me at every level. Therefore, it is unfair for me to expect my spouse to be my all-in-all.
7. Children must not be allowed to become a divisive factor in marriage. If you have them fine, if not.
8. Let your children live with you until they are 18 years. A good example, value, and intercession will raise godly children.
9. A minister’s spouse is not automatically a minister. He/she should receive God’s call separately.
10. Great dividend in helping and supporting each to grow personally and professionally.
11. I cannot change my wife. I cannot change myself, either. God is the one who works transformation through intercession, patience and forbearance.
12. You will always get what you are looking for in a marriage, either positive or negative. Be blind to the flattering traits of your spouse.
13. Instead of looking for what the marriage (or your spouse) can do for you, look for what you can do for your spouse.
14. It is good to learn sexual skills with your wife to make her happy.
15. Space your children and don’t raise a large family. It helps your marriage in no small measure and your ministry.
16. be careful of those you allow to live with you. They can make or break your marriage.
17. Couples should never allow money to divide their marriage. Have three different accounts that give you room for financial freedom.
18. To die to self in marriage means to put the other’s interests, preferences and needs in place of your own. Others mindset is the key of a happy home.
19. The greatest and most challenging definition of marital love is found in First Corinthians 13:7, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Wives will always be wives, so obey this Bible”.
20. It is not “EVERYTHING” that needs to be talked through. You just have to let some things go.
21. “Never let the sun go down on your anger” is much easier said than done. you have to let go, forgive and release your spouse. Control your anger and your emotions.
22. God is even more committed to my marriage than I am. Therefore seek His leading, guidance and blessing upon your marriage.
23. Giving to God, His work and servants as a couple provokes His manifold blessings upon the marriage.
24. Being my wife’s good husband and father to her children is my most important ministry.
25. Don’t ever allow the ministry to destroy your home or home to destroy your ministry.
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