The Congruence… Episode 30

The Congruence XXX

I knew it meant something and it suggested a kind of bad omen but I wasn’t sure who to talk to, so I called my mum. She said I should start praying that nothing would hinder me from getting that which God had for me. She promised to also join me in prayers and that she would talk to her pastor about it.

 My birthday was coming, it fell on a weekend and Folahan suggested we celebrated it in Lagos. 

Why? His siblings were coming home and he wanted to use that opportunity to introduce me to his parents and family at large. He had bought us tickets and we would be staying at their house in Ikoyi.

It was a little overwhelming for me…with the things I had heard about the family and the seeming societal status mismatch. 

Although I had worked very hard to build my self-esteem…but that’s me. 

Folahan knew my background and loved me all the same, but that’s him. I had talked to all of his siblings on the phone and even met the one in Nigeria when she came to Abuja, but it’s not just about them. 

“What if his mum was the obnoxious type and made me feel like a ‘nobody’?”It’s normal to ask questions about family, growing up and all of that at such meetings. My Elder brother (one of the twins) lost his girlfriend the day he met the girl’s parents. They were not all that better off than my family but they still felt he was undeserving of their daughter and she could do better than a barber. The girl’s father did not mince words…

”When she said you were an entrepreneur, I didn’t know she meant a barber. No member of my family has ever been or married a barber and we are not about to lay that precedence” 

That was the end of the 3-year relationship and my brother was still trying to recover from the heartbreak.

 It isn’t unusual for rich parents, especially mothers, to be picky about the family background and status of whomever their children were marrying.

I didn’t do a good job with hiding my fears and Folahan sensed it. He had always coached me to walk with the confidence of ‘how far God had brought’ me and not just where he brought me from.

“They won’t bite you

I already talked to my mum about you, severally, and she is thrilled to meet you

I may have been born with a silver spoon but my folks were not, they worked hard to become who and what they are today…so they know what it’s like to come from a humble background.

 I intentionally don’t talk much about them so you can know that for me, the background means next to nothing

 I believe it is God that gives the ability to produce wealth…therefore; nobody should feel more important than others because of a gift that God gave them”

“You are a young lady making close to a quarter of a million monthly, my parents would have loved to be in your shoes back then” he added just to make me laugh “Besides, it’s my choice I make my own decisions, especially life decisions…this is not the first time I’m making a serious decision for my life without waiting for an approval stamp.

  Even you, can tell that I loosed myself from Mama’s apron long ago. 

My parents trust my judgment and respect my decisions.

They know me; I do my thing once I get the go-ahead from God.

 I am not disrespecting them but I learned to trust God and go with my guts as far back as my high school days. I didn’t have a choice…

 Career advice? I would definitely take that from my dad…I would even take fashion advice from him 

 Business advice? I would take that from my mum as well…

Marriage advice? Nah…I would rather get in “The Word” or talk to a spiritual leader with proven track record.

 Rest assured, nothing can go wrong…they will love you and even if they don’t (God forbid) I can never be manipulated by what my parents think, that ship sailed a long time ago

 They advise me from time to time and I thank them for it. They don’t force me to do anything; they don’t even do it to my younger ones. They understand that certain decisions are ours to make. One of the perks of growing up in a non-African culture”

 Folahan made me feel better about the whole thing so I agreed to it. I was worried about what to wear and all of that, he told me to just be myself and buy what I would wear to my own birthday party if his parents wouldn’t be there.  

—————————————————————————————————————-A day to the Lagos trip, Folahan took ill

He had told me, the previous night, that he wasn’t feeling too good and I had prayed with him over the phone but when I called him in the morning, he could hardly speak. I was so scared but he told me I should go to work and he would stay at home and get some rest.

I called him many times during the day but he didn’t pick up, neither did he respond to my text messages. I was getting worried but it was a busy day at work and my team lead was away for a meeting so I could not leave the office.

 I was becoming more and more agitated as 3 of my tellers could not balance their drawers…the longer I stayed, the angrier I got. I was able to fix the issues and bolted out the moment we locked up. I got in a cab and kept calling Folahan all the way to his house. He picked up once but wasn’t responding…I kept asking where he was and stated that I was on my way to his house. All I could hear was background noises but he didn’t respond.

 I jumped out of the cab as soon as I got to Folahan’s place, I begged the cabbie to wait for me just in case he wasn’t home, the lights in his house were off but I had a spare key so I went for the door.

I turned the light on and the first thing my eyes caught was Deola…

 Continues in episode 31
-Lanre Olagbaju

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