-Bro. Peterson Abu
Seeking God’s Will in Marriage with Total Trust in God
“Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?” (Proverb 20:6)
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” (Proverb 31:10)
God has good treasures as life partners in his bosom, and can only give them to those of His children that are also treasures. God knows His treasures and their identity, but will only give out such as life partners only to those that are treasure likewise unto Him. God cannot cast His pearls to swine (unbelievers, hypocrites and backsliders).
“Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.” (Matthew 7:6)
Godly believers should seek God sincerely and seriously to obtain his good treasures for life partners. Happy is the believer that finds his life partner with the eyes of God, that allow God to choose for Him, he shall receive the favor and blessings of God.
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” (Proverb 18:23)
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)
“If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (Matthew 7:11)
For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.” (Psalms 84:11)
(a) How to Seek God’s Will for Marriage
Matthew 7:7; Jeremiah 29:13
In seeking God’s will for marriage, Christian believers need:
• The Holy Scriptures- Proverb 2:1-5
• The Holy Spirit- 1 Corinthians 2:9-10; Romans 8:4
• Godly Counselors- Proverb 15:22,32; 24:6
• Persistence Prayers- Luke 11:5-10
In seeking God’s perfect will for you in marriage, TRUST is needed to obtain God’s choice.
(b) Components of True Trust in God
Proverb 3:5-6; Jeremiah 17:7-8; Micah 7:7
The believer that claim to have trust in God must have these qualities
• Persistence prayer- Ephesians 6:18
• Patience while seeking- Psalms 27:14
• Self Abandonment on His altar- 1 King 20:4
• Willingness to accept His choice- Matthew 26:39
• Faith towards Him- Hebrew 11:6
• Focus on His promises- Psalms 121:1
(3) Confirming God’s Perfect Will for Marriage
Before revealing how to confirm God’s perfect will in marriage, it is very crucial to understand how God speak. There are three voices that speak in every human, and more so doing the time of decision, like marriage. They are:
(A) The Voice of the Flesh
“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.” (Galatians 5:16-17)
The flesh is the godless part of man, the canal nature that sometimes suggest against the divine plan of God. It is a contrary part in believers that are under its captive, that war against the divine plan and purpose of God. The flesh is capable of speaking and producing revelations according to it’s desire. But such revelations will be coming from the realm of premeditation and lust. An hungry man may likely see himself eating in the dream, so likewise when a believer premeditate about a sister or brother, and be consume by such thought, there is possibility of seeing such a person in his or her dream.
“It shall even be as when an hungry man dreameth, and, behold, he eateth; but he awaketh, and his soul is empty: or as when a thirsty man dreameth, and, behold, he drinketh; but he awaketh, and, behold, he is faint, and his soul hath appetite: so shall the multitude of all the nations be, that fight against mount Zion.” (Isaiah 29:8)
Many believers who professed to have receive messages of confirmations from God are not sincere to God and to themselves, the acclaimed confirmations from God are just fleshly revelations that came from the realm of premeditation and lust. That is why many of such marriages are under the hook of fear, conflict and end in divorce. There is lack of true love and trust; the flesh can never produce anything good.
For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.” (Romans 7:18)
The flesh is often assisted by the Devil to lead ignorant and fleshly believers into wrong marriages. This is why many brothers marry sisters because of beauty, forgetting that beauty shall vanish away.
“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.” (Proverb 31:30)
Some sisters likewise are motivated to marry brothers that are handsome, same tribe, good social status, wealthy, with charisma, with high IQ, and with good educational and family backgrounds. Forgetting that there are thousands of such people in the church who are enemies of God; who have not God in their knowledge but are backsliders and hypocrites. God is the best marriage matchmaker, and see beyond the physical, He knows every heart and motive, and knows what is good for His children. Those who truly see their life partners with the eyes of God (God choosing for them) will never regret, nor be ashamed.
“But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
(b) The Voice of the Devil
“Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee. But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.” (Matthew 16:22-23)
The voice of the Devil can come through a human medium, self medium, or directly through deceptive dreams, revelations or audible voices. The Devil can manifest as an angel of light to play deception. This is why believers must be very careful in discerning the will of God for marriage.
“And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.” (2 Corinthians 11:14)
Going through the scriptures, there are examples on how Satan used bodily medium to operate, for example, he spoke through the serpent to Adam and Eve (Genesis 3:1-5); he spoke through Peter to Jesus Christ (Matthew 16:22-23). When you examine the statement of peter to Jesus Christ, with human discernment Peter appeared to speak out of love and concern for Jesus Christ, but with the discernment of the Holy Spirit, it was the Devil speaking. How unfortunate to have ministers of God allowing the Devil to speak through them in choosing life partners for their members. Prophets in many churches are now becoming another mouth piece for the Devil to speak, choosing life partners for their members. No doubt, God can speak through prophets, but every word that comes out of a ministers mouth must be discern with the Holy Scriptures and the Spirit, and not to be swallow carelessly hook, line and sinker.
“To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.” (Isaiah 8:20)
Beside the Devil using bodily medium, he can also speak into the heart of a man. The encounter that Jesus Christ had with the Devil was not really a physical encounter, but a spiritual encounter. The Devil is a spirit and bodiless, what he does is to speak to the heart (spirit) of a man. Temptation is simply a suggestion of the Devil into man’s heart. The Holy Scriptures have records of how Satan spoke to people. Firstly, David was tempted by the Devil to number the Israelites, which was against God’s leading. Also He spoke to the heart of Ananias and Sapphire to lied against Peter (Acts 5:1-11). There are people, Christian believers that quickly run into marriage with their reasons of “something spoke convincingly to my heart that he/she is my life partner”. There is nothing bad in saying so, because God speaks in such manner also to His children. But it is very dangerous to assume every whispering to be that of God. Whenever you feel hearing any voice speaking to your heart, you must test the kind of spirit speaking to your heat through prayer, the Word of God, and the Spirit of God.
“Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1)
Also the Devil can speak through dreams and revelations, just as he did to one of Job’s friends, Eliphaz, who had a fearful supernatural revelation dream, having a form of truth, and thought it was from God, but from the Devil. And of which God later rebuked him of.
“Now a thing was secretly brought to me, and mine ear received a little thereof. In thoughts from the visions of the night, when deep sleep falleth on men, Fear came upon me, and trembling, which made all my bones to shake. Then a spirit passed before my face; the hair of my flesh stood up: It stood still, but I could not discern the form thereof: an image was before mine eyes, there was silence, and I heard a voice, saying, Shall mortal man be more just than God? shall a man be more pure than his maker? Behold, he put no trust in his servants; and his angels he charged with folly:” (Job 4:12-18)
“And it was so, that after the LORD had spoken these words unto Job, the LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath. Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job. So Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went, and did according as the LORD commanded them: the LORD also accepted Job.” (Job 42:7-9)
This is the reason believers should not swallow every visions and dreams that appear supernatural, and forget the ministry of discernment. Every revelation and dreams should be subjected to prayer, the Holy Scriptures and the Holy Spirit.
(C) The Voice of God
“For God speaketh once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon the bed; Then he openeth the ears of men, and sealeth their instruction, That he may withdraw man from his purpose, and hide pride from man. 33:18 He keepeth back his soul from the pit, and his life from perishing by the sword.” (Job 33:14-17)
“God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this; that power belongeth unto God.” (Psalms 62:11)
The Voice of God is spiritual, and it takes those who are spiritual to hear from God. The new birth experience (born again) is a golden way of making the natural man to become a spiritual man through the transformation of the Holy Spirit (John 3:6-7). The Voice of God never goes against the Word of God, God can speak through dreams, visions, trance, prophesies, still small voice, through prescribe signs or audible voice. All the same, there are important factors accompanying the voice of God, when God has spoken to you about a sister or brother for marriage, the factors that go along with the voice of God are:
• Conviction: strong persuasion that such a person is your life partner
• Connection: strong affection (love) developing from a true and sincere heart towards the person
• Confirmation: It will confirm your prayer points
• Compatibility: there will be comparability between you and the person, In doctrines, in vision, genotype etc.
(A) Confirming God’s Perfect Will
In confirming the will of God for you on marriage, some certain things are experience. And it reveal and confirm God’s perfect will.
• Growing love for the person (Songs 1:14-15)
• Deep inner peace towards the person (Psalms 85:8)
• Satisfaction towards the person (Genesis 24:67)
• Accordance to prescribed signs (Genesis 24:12-25; Judges 6:36-40)
• More than evidences (2 Corinthians 13:1)
• Favour of God (Proverb 18:22)
(b) How to Receive the Will of God
After sincere prayer for the will of God without idol in the heart, below are virtues believers need to receive what God will for them.
• Faith: because the Devil will want to inject fear into such heart, to hinder the will of God for accomplishing. Also family members can be instigated against such will of God (person), also the present condition of the will of God (person) may want to look discouraging and fearful. Also the Devil can also bring up fearful revelation about the person, just to hinder the will of God from coming to pass. This is why believers must be spiritual and having faith while seeking for the will of God for marriage (Romans 1:17)
• Hope: The will of God must be receive with hope that a better future is coming. God reveal a person to you, who appear to be nobody and miserable, and you are such that such is the will of God for you, then you must see beyond who he is, and have hope for what he will become through God’s grace. God revealed, support and then glorify. Trust in Him. (Romans 4:18)
• Patience: Believers need patience while seeking for the will of God, after discovering the will of God, and during the marriage life. God has spoken to give you favour and it appear there is no favor. Patience need to be display to receive the promises of God.
Faith, hope and patience is what believers need when dealing with God. Faith makes you obey God, Hope makes you trust God, and patience makes you receive from God. I pray as you engage into seeking the will of God, May God visits you in Jesus name. Amen.
For questions and answers, and counseling, contact me on Whatsapp: +2348102421675
(Message by Brother Peterson Abu)