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#For all the married ladies and gentlemen:

In this part of the world, people boast so much about their marital status (the married ones). Many even boast about how long they've been married. One day, I encountered someone who has been married for twenty years. Hearing me share with some married ones, she relegated to the background my teachings on marriage, citing that my marriage was too young for me to teach her. As she left, I told her with all confidence, "It's not about long one has been married, but how well". Recently, she met me and wanted me to teach her some marital secrets. She was all over me that even when some came to see her, she didn't want to attend to the person. I put on a mock smile.

Dear married friends, being married, let alone being married for donkey years, is not the same as having a blissful and successful marriage. I must say that as someone still with a young marriage, I have great respect for my seniors in this journey. In fact, before I got married, I approached many to teach and coach me. But it's was not all married people that I approached. I only approached those whose marriages are working because I know that not all married people are enjoying a blissful marriage despite being married for donkey years.

Dear married friends, being married for many years is not the issue, but enjoying your marriage. Is your marriage sweet? Are you happy in it? The proof of a successful marriage is bliss. Marital bliss means: happiness, joy, peace of mind.

Because of the coaching I received when I was still single, I knew that it's not about how long one would have been married. Also, I understood from the Bible and my mentors that I didn't have to be married for many years before I can get it right, that I could get it right from day one if I have what it takes to be a great spouse.

Dear married friends, a marriage where the two spouses don't have the requisite personality for marriage as well as the knowledge of marriage and the willingness to make it work won't succeed. Marital success is not a product of luck. It's a product of work. It's intentional.

In our marriage, my wife and I are intentional. Before our holy matrimony, we had conceived the kind of marriage we wanted. We had prayed, fasted, planned, discussed, agreed, disagreed in order to create the marriage of our dreams. Aside the grace of God, intentionality is a tremendous tool to build a great marriage. For instance, before we married, we knew the number of children we would have, how we would raise them, how we would manage our family finance, how we would deal with external interferences, how we would manage our professional lives, etc. We married with a vision. We married with well cut out plans. We didn't marry to come guess how to run our marriage. We had our picture of the kind of marriage we wanted. No guess work.

Dear married friends, if you married without a marriage dream, it's not too late to get things right. You and your spouse should sit and have a discussion that will reinvent your marital experience. Forget about your past experiences. Yes, your marriage can have a brand new look. Your marital experience can improve a lot more or change for the better.

There are no lucky marriages anywhere in the world. All successful marriages are working because of the intentionality of the spouses involved. They work hard to create their desired marital experience.

#A word of advice: civilized people don't brag about their marital status to singles. Married people should not mock the unmarried. Remember, being married or single, no one is better than the other.

Many thanks for reading, commenting, liking and sharing.

See you at the top!

Your friend,

Coach Joshua

Photo credits: Facebook News Feed.