ACCEPTING MY MISTAKES
After I narrated how I was feeling to the nurse we met at the hospital, she used her fingertip to draw my cheeks just to check my eyes. She then turned to look at my father with one strange look. I looked from her face to my father’s face, that was when I knew trouble is cooking.
“She is pregnant” The nurse said in a low tone.
My dad did not say a word, he went straight to his car and drove off, leaving me to find my way home on my own. I stood there, staring at the car as it zoomed off.
“I’m in trouble” I whispered to myself.
I went in search of ‘Okada’ to take me home. On getting home, I went straight to my room and threw myself into the bed. I cried my heart out. “My mates are doing their own with no issues, why is my own different……? How am I supposed to be a mother at this my age……? How will I tell the world that I’m carrying the child of a ‘Washerboy’ ‘Alagbafo’as the Yorubas would say….. and the idiot is nowhere to be found……. What will happen to my academics…..? What will happen to my future……? “A million thoughts collided in my mind as I cried hard.
In the afternoon, mum came back from work and came to check on me in my room. I pretended all was well. When she left my room, I burst into tears cos I knew it was no secret, father was coming to expose me. I wondered what mother’s reaction would be.
The horn of daddy’s car made my heart pounded ten times in a second. Father entered the sitting room and unfortunately met mother right there.”Omo E ti l’oyun o” (Your child is pregnant) Father said in Yoruba language. “Ehn? Omo Ewo? (What? Which child) Mother asked in confusion. Deborah l’oyun o….. Eleyi ti mo tun ri niyen o (Deborah is pregnant, that’s what I just discovered) Daddy said with pain in his voice. Ha!!!! Omo yi ti pa miiii!!!! Mother cried.
Mother rushed to my room and pounced on me. “How did it happen…..? Where did you get it…..? Who is the bastard that got you pregnant…..? What pushed you into it….why?! Why?!! Why?!!!. Mother raged. She was slapping and punching me as she asked a thousand rhetorical questions.
I cried out loud. When mother was still wrestling with me, father came to meet us in the room. “Who is responsible?” The whole room shook as he roared. I hummed out with no particular response. Mother landed a dirty slap onmy ears.”You can’t talk abi…. You’ve suddenly turned dumb, Ehn? Mother said madly.
The slap totally blocked the particular ear, it suddenly could not hear anything. Before I could open my mouth, another slap landed on the other ear. “Kenny!” The name popped out of my mouth unconsciously.
Ehn! Which Kenny? Father asked in confusion. Ehhhhhhh!!!!! “Alagbafoooo!!!” Mother said mockingly while father gave an hilarious laughter. “So you stooped so low and gave out your body to that dirty illiterate? Shame on you!”
Father cried. Omo yi d’oju ti mi….. Mo te…..Deborah,o ti pa mi….. (you’ve brought me shame, you have finished me) Mother cried. “How did I get myself into this mess? How did I sell my body so cheap? What was I thinking when I was sleeping with that guy? How could I be so stupid? You are a shame….. You are a disgrace….. I hate you…..” I criedout to myself.
It was indeed not a palatable experience. It was the ‘Baddest’ experience that ever happened to me that time. I wished I could turn back the hands of time and land a dirty slap on Kenny when he gave me that gentle touch that started the ‘spark’. I wished I had blocked my ears when my colleagues were talking about their illicit sexual acts. I wished I was not finding pleasure in watching those home videos that added nothing to me but only exposed me to sexuality. But the deed is done. It was already late. I knew all I needed to do was to carry my cross and become a single mom.
Kenny was nowhere to be found. What worsen the situation, we didn’t even know any of his family. My dad only saw him in his friends place and he was introduced to him as a ‘washerman’ so dad asked him to be washing clothes for him also. Well, I wasn’t even ready to let the world know that the illiterate was the father of my child so I didn’t bother much about him.
Father and mother soon accepted their fate and they gave me the support they could. I gave birth to a boy and after weaning him, I left him with mum and continued my education. All the relationship I was entering with guys was crashing. Immediately they discover I was a single mom, they would disappear. I was getting due for marriage but I had no serious relationship. This was becoming a threat to me and my mom.
One day, mother came home with a good news.
To be continued tomorrow…